A Far Different Wait

A Far Different Wait

I have waited for children three times
Gone in and out of doctor’s rooms
Climbed up and down from exam tables
Imagined what each baby would be like
Wondered about the color of their eyes,
The number of their fingers and toes (hoped for ten of each)
Looked discreetly away from the Enquirer at the check stand
When the headlines said: “BABY BORN WITH TWO HEADS”
Worried about what kind of mother I would be
Worried that I had a hidden gene of destruction that would
Annihilate all of us
Found out I didn’t

I know more about you than I knew about your aunts and uncles
While I was waiting for them
I know your eyes are the blue of the watercolor I painted with yesterday
A picture of classic Winnie the Pooh for your room
I know your hair is the color of sun kissed sand
And that your disposition is made of smiles
That you are easy to love
I know you cut your first tooth on Father’s Day
I rocked you through it and several more
I know that when I came home from work you looked for me
With a gleam in your eye, like a little star
Just before you’d smile and reach for me

I can’t wait for you to be here
We will read Pooh out loud
We will build wonderful castles of blocks
Watch birds and squirrels
Eat Matzah Ball Soup and warm sweet Challah
I will write you stories with pictures
That we can color to our heart’s content
We will relax into our lives as if we were floating on water
Our faces made warm by the sun
We will laugh often and loudly not caring what people think
And hug each other anytime we want
Someday I will tell you the story of how we came to be


Joy Arnett
May, 2009